Outer body manual

I am always amazed by what makes a good photograph, i mean there's a hell of a lot of photographers out there. some good and some really shit, but everyone still seem to be shooting different than the other. I take myself for example, my own worst crit. always looking for new fresh ideas, browsing through other togs website, blogs images trying to figure it out. I guess all i want to find out is where is my spot on the bar of excellence. where is my rank, where do i fit in on this scale. that i have trouble with. just cannot seem to look at my work and go...right you're good, or thats a great photo. i'm not technical or mathematical, never use a light meter and even though i will always shoot on manual, it is like i still don't have any control. never work things out according to rules, books or manuals. just feel it and if it looks good, i go with it. could this be an outer body experience...i mean for each one of us there's a split second that we own, that has our name on it. but why will my work look different from another, how can my split second be different from another photographer,  even if we take the same picture. when i shoot, i have no control....i am being controlled, and i love this feeling. somehow i am being connected to this thing...spirit, soul, outer body, universe....have no clue what it is, but it feels good and it takes me on a journey. it just amazes me how i will have no plan, no idea, no structure when i go out for a shoot, nothing planned, but just absolutely have my intuitive, creative and spontaneous outer body take control of my shutter button. i guess that is me and that is why my images will be me, totally flowing from who i am .....and without any control. I guess this is how it should be. me